Hello? Anybody there?

This is not a fashion blog, or a blog about the numerous places I’ve visited (Skegness anyone?). Think of it more as a journal, except one I don’t padlock and hide under my pillow, but instead let the whole world poke their noses into.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting to write about a life that everyone wished they had, to brag to the world just how great it is being me. In fact, I spend most days sat at home, stitching away with my dogs at my feet – it’s not exactly at the top of anyone’s bucket list. The reason I’m starting this blog isn’t exactly the happiest one.

Since I was around thirteen years old, I suffered with bouts of depression and huge social anxiety. On Monday I went to my first ever therapy appointment (don’t worry, the waiting list was not seven years long, I just spent a long time admitting my problems). On Monday night, I decided I was never going back. Although that is not life advice for anyone with mental health problems, I encourage everyone with the opportunity to speak to professionals as many people have told me it’s the best thing they ever did, but it wasn’t for me. I didn’t even get to sit on the sofa.

So what does this have to do with starting a blog? Well that evening, I realised that I could help myself if I really tried and kept at it rather than falling flat on my face every few days and vowing never to leave the safety of my duvet ever again. What I learnt in that first session was that cognitive behavioural therapy is all about taking yourself out of your own emotions and setting little challenges, looking at how and why you react in certain ways to situations and why they’re not the logical reactions to have. Now with my social anxiety, one of my biggest problems is not being able to talk to people I don’t particularly know about what is going on in my life. Which, if you hadn’t guessed, is exactly what blogging is about.

I’m not expecting to be the next famous blogger or anything like that (do famous bloggers even exist, or did they all move to YouTube and Instagram?), but I am expecting to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone and gain some confidence as I do. Maybe I’ll get to know some new people or someone will take something for their own use out of this blog, but again, I don’t have any high hopes.

Perhaps in this quest I’ll also learn how to cut down my rambling. My bad.