What is FOMO?

Recently, I’ve learned that a lot of issues that I have in day-to-day life have a name. Many of them reside under the category of FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out, and it’s more common than you think.

FOMO is the anxiety that you feel when you think that you are missing out on an event or a part of life, and it’s very common in young people such as students who use a lot of social media. Now, it’s not always full-blown diagnosed anxiety, but the little worries and fears that you carry with you most days.

My own experience of FOMO revolves a lot around university life. I have found it incredibly difficult to fit in with a group of people while at university, meaning that I don’t enjoy a lot of it and I fear that I’m the only one. I always hear people counting down until they go back to university or post about how much they love being there and never want to leave. It scares me, because I’m the complete opposite. I can’t wait to get out of here and into a place where I fit in more, but I seem to be the only person to feel that way.

I also fear that everyone has got their life on track and knows what they want to do when they leave university. I only decided a month ago what I really wanted to do with my education, and even then it fell into the broad category of “journalism”. That could mean pretty much anything. I don’t know exactly what I want to do with any journalistic skills I gain - I just know that I quite enjoy writing and wouldn’t mind earning a living doing so. Other people are working towards specific companies or areas and again, I feel left out, as though my life needs to be a lot more organised.

Drawing from that is the fear that everyone has a lot more experience than I do. Everyone I know has been on a year out working or gets internships over the summer. I talk to a lot of people who, like me, are interested in becoming journalists. Unlike me, they’ve been working with big newspapers or currently have a job in writing. They already get paid to write. They already have contacts and I have nothing. I have a blog, like the rest of the student community. I worry that they’re going to go straight from their third year or Masters into a nice, cushy job in journalism while I struggle to get a job I could have got at 16 in a supermarket.

I have so many fears that I’m losing out on important parts of life, or things I should have done years ago. It bothers me every single day and before I put a name to it, I felt like I was the only one who felt this way. But I’m not. You’re not either.

If you feel the same way, then remember that you’re not alone. Social media sites make you feel incredibly marginalised when it comes to these fears, because people rarely put negative things online. The people you think are living a perfect life could be having an absolutely shit day and just decide not to post, or post about how pretty the sky is to keep up appearances. I bet if you look through your social media profile, you look as though your life is a bundle of joy too. That’s not a bad thing, I love seeing people have a good time, just know that most people will feel the same kind of fear as you.

We almost feel an obligation to update people on our lives online, which makes it seem as though you’re always doing something fun, always onto the next adventure, when that’s not true at all. I have been lying in bed in the middle of the day before and written a status about how much I appreciate my friends. It doesn’t mean that I’m with them. It doesn’t even mean I have more than two. If you think about it, people only start flicking through Facebook when they’re bored, so all these posts probably come from a dull moment in someone’s life.

It’s also important to stop using the term “everyone”. It’s something I’m incredibly guilty of and is common for people referring to events when experiencing FOMO. You think that absolutely everyone has a better time than you. I daren’t even count how many times I’ve used the word in this post. But remember, it isn’t everyone. It’s the handful of people that you saw on your news feed. More than likely, it’s the same people over and over again. I can guarantee that it isn’t everyone at all.

FOMO used to refer to big events, like being invited to a party, only recently has it become a common thing in day to day life. It’s okay to feel that way, but remember that someone will look at your life with the same fear. Our views of peoples’ lives are incredibly skewed by social media and you’re not falling behind at all. Not least does every life move at its own pace, but everyone gets bored. You’re not the only person to sit, drumming your fingers on the desk, feeling left out. You’re not alone. It’s not as bad as you think.