I thought the stigma didn't affect me

What do you know, another mental health post, but considering it’s around the anniversary of Robin Williams’ death, I thought it was fitting.

I do a fair bit of work with Time to Change and Mind – raising money, hosting my own Time to Talk day and generally banging on about ending the stigma around mental health problems. I always believed myself to be one of the lucky ones though, someone who has such a supporting group family and friends, who never gets bullied for my problems. I was campaigning to help people who weren’t as lucky as me, who needed the help more.

Today I was filling out extra details for my new job, and happily ticking “no” for every health condition - something I do on autopilot now - until I came across “mental health”. That started a battle in my mind. Should I lie and pretend I’m okay? If I’m honest will they think less of me or not bother hiring me after all? What details should I write? The stigma around mental health had hit me hard. Now, I may be making these problems up in my head and they won’t think twice about my answers. But so many people would.

That’s why I’m going to keep campaigning until the stigma has died out completely. I don’t want anyone to have to think about lying about their illness. I don’t want anyone to worry that they’ll miss out on opportunities just because they suffer with mental health problems. I should have stayed in autopilot, ticked “yes” and carried on my merry way, still looking forward to my first shift.

I believe it’s not even a case of people being consciously nasty about these things. It’s down to a complete lack of education. We sit in science and learn about how our kidneys or heart can go wrong, how people get lung cancer, but never about mental health. I shouldn’t have to explain that no, I’m not over my depression, I will always suffer with it, but one day I’ll have it under control. I shouldn’t have to explain that it’s not just a case of trying harder, or smiling a little more. People don’t know what to say to me when I’m in a low, because no-one has ever taught them what the illness really is. It’s not just a case of being really sad, but more feeling like you’re devoid of emotions altogether while your body turns into lead.

I thought I was lucky, but the stigma affects everyone with a mental health problem. It’s time education systems stepped in to help us stop that.